If you pinned me down and asked me to share the one thing I think is most important for a writer to know…this is what I would tell you, and it’s probably not what you think.

Let me tell you a quick story. It was 2014, and I had been writing and rewriting (and rewriting, and rewriting) my novel for 3 years. 

Looking back, I know that three years isn’t all that long. But it felt long. 

And more importantly, I was at an impasse. I was emailing agents my book pitch, which in the world of publishing is called “querying”, and I was hearing “no” over and over. 

But one agent who had turned me down was generous enough to get on the phone with me and talk about what she would need to see in a revision in order to re-consider the book. 

I revised it and sent it back to her. 

She turned me down again. 

I revised it again. 

She turned me down again. 

Over 18 months, she turned me down a total of three times. 

I was at a loss. I didn’t know what to do to make the manuscript better. 

I’d taken classes, gotten feedback a gajillion times from my fellow writing students and from writers in my own writing group. I’d restructured the format of the book twice. 

I’d added a kidnapping then taken it out. (If you’ve actually read my novel When You Read This, you are probably laughing, because a kidnapping does not fit in that book.) 

I’d changed the main characters’ names forty times. 

And I felt all this work. I felt heavy, burnt out. I was sick of the book and sick of myself. I didn’t know what to do next, so I googled “editor for a novel” and found one. I put the $3,000 on my credit card and crossed my fingers. 

Several weeks later, she sent over my manuscript full of notes and my editorial memo. The editorial memo is a letter from your editor that accompanies your manuscript full of the editor’s notes. 

But I didn’t even make it to the manuscript notes. When I finished reading the letter, I didn’t even bother opening the manuscript to see my editor’s notes. I never have, to this day. I didn’t need to. 

Here is one excerpt from my letter: 

Dear Mary, 

Thank you so much for entrusting your manuscript to me. It is such a wild and original novel; I truly have never read anything like it. There were so many sentences that I loved, so many quips that made me laugh out loud. It’s rare to see prose that’s so clean and confident, especially in a debut novel. I can tell you honestly that you have a special talent for writing, and I have no doubt that you have many books in your future.

Let me warn you up front: I’m going to give you some tough love in this editorial letter. I want you to look at this edit as not only about this novel, but about your growth as a writer. Writing a novel is hard work, and every revision is practice for this novel and the next.

My main project is to investigate why your novel is getting rejected, and how we can change that around. There is an enormous, enormous amount of potential here. The concept is new and interesting, and your writing is so sharp—funny and smart, with an eye for the absurdities of modern day life.

You have the humor in spades. It’s the heart that you need more of. And heart demands deep work. (I should say here that I was really impressed to find as I was reading that the prose was near-flawless. On a sentence-to-sentence level, your writing is remarkable.)

If you are serious about this novel, I want to encourage you to give your characters more love.

With gratitude and best wishes, 

Her Name

DAMN. 

The moment I read her words, I knew she was right. You have the humor in spades. It’s the heart that you need more of. 

My book needed heart. 

I don’t know if that letter has the same effect on you that it had on me since it’s personal for me, and, of course, it’s only an excerpt so you aren’t getting the full thing, but I was gutted by it. 

I’d known in writing it that it was true—it was empty, and it was empty because I’d not let myself feel while writing it. I’d taken all those writing classes on how to write beautiful sentences, and as she noted—I’d nailed the sentences! But I’d hoped I could pull off an amazing story just with cleverness, and writing devices, and an inventive structure. 

But no. That much was now clear: I couldn’t. 

I had to show up emotionally. I had to write with heart, meaning, I had to trust myself enough as a writer to feel something as I was writing. 

Cut to the end of this tale: I took my editor’s words seriously, and rewrote the story over the next six weeks—with heart this time—and I landed an agent. 

My wonderful agent Claire was—and still is—the same agent who’d rejected me three times before. 

I worked up the courage—or a better word is probably audacity—to pitch her a fourth read, and a mere 48 hours later, this is the email I got back from her: 

Mary, I stayed up late to finish this, having started it just today, and wanted to email so you’d know my feelings first thing tomorrow. Oh, it is beautiful. I am both astounded at the metamorphosis since last time, and not, because these glimpses of something so very beautiful and true were most definitely there before. But this—it feels like some carapace, some nut has been cracked open, and all that without losing any of the incredibly funniness and unsappiness that you always had. I snorted on the subway…it is the most exciting thing I’ve (re)read in ages and I find myself just intensely moved. I would love to be part of this, and be your agent. What do you think – can we do this? Are you having others read it? Let me know your thoughts.

And that was it. 

I’d given it heart. And Claire saw it.

The most important thing you can do for yourself as a writer is to trust yourself enough to write with heart.

You’re the only one with the vision. You’re the only one who can put feelings into your story so that a reader can feel them, too. 

If you’re wondering, “How do I do that?” well, I’ve now built a whole writing program around this idea.

Ready to write your book?

If you made it this far, I’m guessing that you are writing a book, or want to write a book. 

If so, I want to talk to you. 

When I’m not writing, my mission in life is to help talented writers write their dream books. I love it. I live for it. 

Because before I published my novels, I first had to figure out how to write one. It wasn't easy because none of the writing classes I was taking showed me how to actually write a novel.

Not until I had a newborn and only a couple of hours to write did I come up with a process. The process worked. I wrote my entire novel during my 8-week maternity leave. Now, I teach it in my program the Book Incubator and it works for dozens of other writers. 

If you're curious to know more, I have a free video walking you through my exact process for writing a book. You can get it by clicking below and answering two questions to apply to the program. You get the video whether you join or not—no pressure to enroll. 

Just click below to tell me a little bit about you and your book—you can fill out a form online. I’m so excited to hear from you!

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