Finding Your Voice in Writing: The Truth!
What is voice? How do you find your voice? In the world of writing and writing education, there’s a lot of talk about voice, and it can be a tricky thing to nail down. Today, I’m going to share with you my best tips for finding your voice.
Sometimes a writer will join my program to write their book, and about two months in—because the program is 12 months—they’ll say, oh my gosh, I am panicking because I’m learning so much good stuff about how to write better that I’m worried everything I wrote before I joined this program is terrible and I need to go back and change it all.
And I say—stop. Wait! Don’t do that.
So many of my craft lessons I put together after I’d already written two books. I figured out how to do these things by writing my books.
Which is to say…you can write a great book and have no idea how you’re doing it.
Is it efficient? Not necessarily. But it’s totally possible.
I teach craft lessons so you can bring AWARENESS to what you’re doing well and replicate it. You don’t have to throw spaghetti at a wall and hope it sticks. But becoming aware of craft skills and developing them by focusing on them doesn’t mean that everything you wrote before lacked craft.
That’s a fallacy.
This is also true when it comes to voice. I’d heard the term voice many times over the years but had paid zero attention to it until after I’d written and published two books and already had a book deal for the third.
So…you don’t need to know what voice is to write a good book. But knowing what voice is can still be helpful!
What is voice?
Here’s a definition I found that I like: a writer's “voice” refers to the stylistic mix of vocabulary, tone, and point of view that make words flow in a particular way.
It’s you. It’s how you speak, but on paper.
It not so much describes what you’re saying but how you’re saying it. And a distinct voice is a great way to have strong writing.
The truth is that because we’re people, there are all kinds of ways we can show up on paper, just like there are all kinds of ways we show up in real life. I might act one way in front of my parents, one way in front of a professor, one way in front of my closest friends.
We aren’t the same all the time. And you’re not the same as a writer on paper all the time, either.
Sometimes, I’m sarcastic on the page, a little biting if I want to be. I can also be sentimental and gushy. I can be clever. I can be sparse…writing in really short sentences sparingly. And I can be conversational…writing the way I’d talk to most friends.
Which is the right (quote unquote) way to go?
Well, first, it depends on what you’re writing
My first book was meant to be humorous…I wanted people to laugh while reading it. So the voice lent itself to that.
My second and third books were more serious, definitely not “laugh out loud” stories. So the voice was more direct and sincere, not attempting to be funny.
Your voice for a given project should match the mood you’re going for, how you want the reader to feel while reading…again, it’s very much like life, which I think is a great and easy reference here.
If you walk into a funeral home and want to make people laugh to ease the tension, your manner is going to be different than if you walk into a room and want to convey that you’re respectfully somber. Both are legit approaches, but they’re really different.
Second: How do you know which voice is working best for your material? Or how do even know when your voice on paper shifts at all?
In life, it’s easier to assess how we’re coming across in different situations because we’ve been doing it for decades.
On paper, it can be trickier because we’re often newer to writing, even if we’ve been doing it awhile. We’re at least new to working on a particular project when we first start it.
So here’s what I want you to do: pay attention to your own experience as you are writing.
When are you having fun? When does it feel like you are enjoying yourself?
I don’t mean when are you cathartic or feeling like you are emotional on the page. That’s not as good a barometer. Because sometimes it can mean that you have found your voice, but other times it can mean that you are just releasing emotions in a way that you need to…
Which is still good. That’s a great use for writing and a really important personal growth moment. I’m saying that feeling something while writing does not necessarily mean you have found your voice, while enjoying yourself can often be a sign that you are writing in your voice.
I often feel something as I’m journaling because I’m releasing what I need to release; that isn’t a signal it’s my voice.
When you’re having fun is a great sign that you’ve found your groove…even for a heavier story that’s not a fun or light story.
You can still feel like you’re having a good time writing it.
I’m working on a memoir about miscarriage right now, and that’s as heavy as it gets, but when I’m in my groove, I feel like I’m having a good time doing the actual writing.
And finally, third, once you get to the stage where you’re getting feedback, I want you to actually listen to the positive feedback you receive
When people give us positive feedback, meaning they tell us things they like in our writing, they’re pointing out what we should build on. And your best book is going to be built on what you’re doing well, not on fixing what you’re not doing well.
Let me say that again: your best book is going to be built on what you’re doing well, not on fixing what you’re not doing well.
It’s really easy to ignore the positive feedback because you’re so focused on the negative feedback and “fixing” what you’re doing “wrong.”
I did it for years. I think it’s really human and normal for us to focus on the negative.
I don’t do this anymore, but in the past, when I looked at reviews of my books online, I would look at the negative ones first. I’d harp on them, even if the vast majority of the reviews were positive.
It was masochistic, and I couldn’t resist.
The same was true of getting feedback—someone could give me a ton of feedback, and if 80% of it was great, I’d focus on the 20% of it that wasn’t.
But what people were actually telling me over and over about my book was that it was funny and tender in certain places, and that I should lean into those parts.
If I’d actually listened to them, I would have saved myself years! Instead, I focused on trying to make the parts they didn’t like better. I was missing the point.
You build your best work—and your voice—on positive feedback.
The final thing I want to say about finding your voice is that…it’s often what is easy for you
We make writing so hard. We think if we’re writing well, it’s supposed to feel difficult. And I’ve found the opposite to be true. Often when we’re doing our best writing, it’s when it feels easy.
That may not be what you thought or hoped to hear…but it’s good news, right? That it can be easy? I sure think so.
Ready to write your book?
If you made it this far, I’m guessing that you are writing a book, or want to write a book.
If so, I want to talk to you.
When I’m not writing, my mission in life is to help talented writers write their dream books. I love it. I live for it.
Because before I published my novels, I first had to figure out how to write one. It wasn't easy because none of the writing classes I was taking showed me how to actually write a novel.
Not until I had a newborn and only a couple of hours to write did I come up with a process. The process worked. I wrote my entire novel during my 8-week maternity leave. Now, I teach it in my program, the Book Incubator, and it works for dozens of other writers.
If you're curious to know more, I have a free video walking you through my exact process for writing a book. You can get it by clicking below and answering two questions to apply to the program. You get the video whether you join or not—no pressure to enroll.
Just click below to tell me a little bit about you and your book—you can fill out a form online. I’m so excited to hear from you!
